So I started getting anxious and out of nowhere got insecure when thinking of my own relationship. We're seriousso serious that my boyfriend decided to relocate due to my new job five hours away from his parents. However, I recently saw a text of his with his exhis high school sweetheart, his first love. If your friends and family think something is going on, your partner might be cheating on you. I feel bad, 25 Sexual Fantasies That Are Totally Normal, Oh, You Have a Praise Kink? Or, well, I did find a lot, but not what I 'expected". Let's investigate some other potential signs he's cheating on you. Plus, unfortunately, as you try to make the situation make sense, they just start being defensive because they are tired of talking about it, when really they are just tired of covering their butts! Any advice is greatly appreciated. Often, the guilt of an affair causes an individual to be irritable with the person they are with. (Although in the text he didn't mention that; he said HE got the great job opportunity and I'm tagging along.). Have a dilemma of the heart you want to discuss? They actually indicate that something is up. He looked at me, smiled while he shook his head and said "you dummy. Today I was planning to ask her out on a date but the boyfriend situation stopped me from doing that. She would never have known if she did not look, because there were no signs at all. Which let me know that he went through my phone. Instagram. Quit playing, player! First things first: Psychoanalyst Claudia Luiz makes it clear that going through someone's phone without their permission is a violation of their privacy. there wasn't much but i saw that he had messaged his ex in march and they were flirting (he told me he blocked her). ago by lovetumbleweed Went through my boyfriend's phone. Nobody likes the person that they become when they are consumed with waiting for their partner to go to the bathroom so they can pounce on their phone and quickly scroll through texts. The more important questions are about what led them to their mistakes. Sometimes people have a bad day and don't behave like great partners. He tells his family how happy he is with me. Although neither of them seem active, I'm freaking out big time. Reddit, Inc. 2023. Well, if you get some time, I would really like your take on this. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. It never occurred to me that he went through my phone! When you try to ask him about your mood swings, do you find him recoiling, becoming very protective of his private life - something he should be happy to share with you? Watch out for this one, as he may have decided to let the flame burn out slowly. 11 Reasons Not To Snoop 1. You can do some detective work; Im not a strong believer in this, but if you really want the truth, give it a shot. If the relationship is great and you only checked his phone because it was right in front of you (not an excuse, by the way), I'd let the conversation die. We did live two hours apart. Are you concerned that you two are not connecting emotionally anymore? People Reveal How They Caught Their Partner Cheating - Insider I almost puked beforehand, but it actually was very anticlimactic? Uh-oh, our reader has a guilty AND suspicious mind. Every individual deserves some level of privacy, even when they enter into a relationship with another person. I didn't think anything of it because I thought maybe he just ended up going into his friends place (i didn't know where he lived) and hung out for a while. Try to build trust with your partner so that you wont have to worry about this. His camera roll is mostly pictures of me or things that he has sent me. Why wouldnt he want to share with the world that hes in a long-term relationship with you? If you are dating someone like that, be sure to put your guard up because its very suspicious! Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Went through my boyfriend's phone on a hunch and found out he has been cheating on me Background info: My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and we moved in together in the beginning of March. I still have mine. Here are some signs that you should look out for, according to experts. This should be obvious. As for his part of it though, well, I don't love that he's texting his ex to meet up, and I really don't love that he's lying about his reasons for moving with you. My friend said if I tell him I went through his phone, that we'll never be able to work it out. I did not find anything at all. The multiple bankruptcy filings could really be a single case. I'm insecure about my relationship at times, though for most part I'm not given any reasons. This is so emotionally hard for me. i was in bed right next to him. i went through my boyfriend's phone and now i regret it. This is definitely a cause for concern; you may want to see what else has changed in his behavior to see if a pattern emerges. Bleh! Keep in mind, he may just be stressing about another part of his life, like work, but its a good idea to get to the bottom of whats going on. Your friends or family ask you whats going on, 17. You can tell him the reasons why you think the two of you shouldnt be together. It's been over a week since the messages were sent and he has yet to tell me anything about it. Would this affect me if we were to end up together?What should I do? Use this tool to check whether he actually is who he says he isWhether you're married or have just started seeing someone, infidelity rates are on the rise and have increased over 40% in the last 20 years, so you have all the right to be worried. Ad Choices. and our Success! All rights reserved. Memories from past relationships were still there, but I thought those were cute and sweet. Usually, when you confront a guy about something like this, theyll just sink themselves deeper and deeper into lies that dont make sense. Major red flag. Do you feel neglected or replaced by his phone activity? I feel like complete shit. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. he admits that he crossed a boundary but won't admi that it i was cheating because he "wasn't romantically or intimately interested in her and just wanted a friend.". Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? "Hey i went snooping through shit i shouldn't have and found out you're cheating on me". My gut told me he was lying, but I chose to drop it. Thats a possibility. They usually mean a man is up to something that he shouldnt be doing since hes really with you. on september 15th they made plans to hang out after he got off work at 5pm. True, men have become more clever, found ways to prove they were really at the office, even if they werent, but it remains common excuses men give their women when really they are just seeing someone new. 1 of 4. Scan this QR code to download the app now. "My boyfriend went through my phone!" - Relationships Are Complicated I still love him, but I'm so hurt and I'm so done with being cheated on. If he is serious about you and the relationship youve started, he would most likely introduce you to the people he values the most. ago. I sent him repeated requests to be added, too, but he never did add me, which bugged me to death! Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. If Your Partner Does These 23 Things, They Aren't Over Their Ex - Bustle April 30, 2023 Infidelity Did you find something on your boyfriend's phone that has made you suspicious of him? He has blocked me from Facebook, and will not allow me on his phone. He may have just changed his opinion about you, but do you actually want to be with a person that doesnt value you? He hasnt said anything about being financially bankrupt. Why would your man need to wear a new cologne if you are right here, happy with his normal scent? So, how can you tell if your partner still isn't over their ex? All rights reserved. Archived post. When he told me there wasn't anything to even know about them, I accepted. I went through my boyfriend's group chat & found out his pals have a In some cases, for instance, following a mistrust, there may be an agreement where you are given permission to look through the phone. My boyfriend wants to go through my phone but I refuse to let - Reddit To revisit this article, select My Account, thenView saved stories. He used to love the way you chewed your cereal, your silly faces, and the clothes you wore. However, I recently saw a text of his with his exhis high school sweetheart, his first love. i consider what he did cheating because he actively was hiding her from me. I feel like I have justify all of my actions and seeing him now feels very negative. He never really gave me a valid reason for not letting me see his Facebook account, either. Messages. How To Tell If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You? This tool will do just that and pull up any hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more to hopefully help put your doubts to rest. I know I'm being silly, cause this amazing guy is moving FOR ME! And it's not even that it's bad that they met up if nothing happened. That way, you can get to the bottom of the situation to see why you are no longer included in things that you once were. He may be cheating if he blows up over stupid stuff. You said you didn't have any reasons to be insecure before this, so why were you going through his phone? Looked through my boyfriend's phone and found some things I told him I went through his phone and his text messages with Heather, he looked shellshocked and said 'so?' and I said that they weren't okay, he replied with pure anger and said 'you shouldn't have done that' and walked away. Tread . We he was not shy to talk about his past and feelings, and I felt emotionally connected with him from the start. If he is suddenly getting mad at you over the little things in life, like not replacing the toilet paper roll or forgetting to use a coaster, that could be a sign he is cheating. Background info: My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and we moved in together in the beginning of March. Instead, he had texts to his sister about how great I am. Is he perhaps trying a new person on, too? All rights reserved. Bleh! Thats a valid reason, but if he does this frequently without a valid excuse as to where hes been, thats cause for concern. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. If he quickly jumps on board with the conversation, hes not very invested in you. He may lie, so watch out for this kind of defensiveness. Info: one of the STD's my friend got is HIV. He begins skipping out on social/family functions, 21. the worst part was going through his text messages. "Why did he have to go through my phone", you keep asking yourself. i (f21) have been with my boyfriend (m23) for 2.5 years now. i read that entire conversation. If she demanded to see my phone, I would let her, but I'd also think it was weird and off putting. My boyfriend and I have been dating for eight months. If you know of a work event, you may want to show up! I want to preface this by saying I know I should break up with him. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. "And finally, I found out they've all booked a lads holiday for next year and I know nothing about it.". I snooped on my boyfriends phone while he was asleep How do I bring this up? If so, you're in the right place. But only about me, in a very positive manner. He said he has trust set up for his kids that will give them 500k when they are 21, and his pension and elective insurance from his government job would also give them $2000 each month. She discovered his pals have a nickname for her, which her boyfriend even calls her, as well as information about a lads holiday and a cheating friend. Then I learned that he planned to meet her the day after I left his city. I suspect this relationship is tarnished. Shes seen a lot of heartbreak in the relationships with family members, so she just wants to make sure shes emotionally prepared in case she has to have her heart broken again. It's just my mind being mean. One of the main reasons for divorce is infidelity, so there are pretty good odds that at least half of all relationships have some form of cheating in them. If you find him saying odd things like this, you may just have a cheater on your hands. It might be best to take a break from it until you make some progress with the help you are seeking." By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. This means if your spouse or boyfriend is suddenly buying new clothes or accessories or spending more time in front of the mirror, checking himself out, he may just be up to something dishonest. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. He works as a government employee, and has a stable income and live in a modest apartment. This is one of those obvious red flags that a guy is going somewhere else for fulfillment. Messenger. ", "My boyfriend calls me this too in the chat.". i went to go feed my co-worker's cat that i was cat sitting, and happened to notice that my boyfriend left his phone in my car. we own a cat together and have signed a lease for next year together and we were over the moon about it. No one enjoys fighting, and if hes started picking on you, putting you down, he may just be looking for an excuse to end it with you. But could it be that he installed it again on his phone recently, and when he did his old profile just recovered with it? You may be blissfully happy, ignorantly able to look past all the signs hes cheating on you, but people who are outside of your relationship may see things that you dont. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Acknowledging the fact that you have trust issues with your boyfriend is the first step in solving this problem. we have always had a stable and healthy relationship and i felt so lucky to have him in my life. I need some advice. we're trying to work on things but i feel so hurt. so i take his phone with me into the apartment and into the bathroom. Know your mans habits, attitudes, and routines, so you know when something doesnt add up. I am my own being and I know this is my own fault. Im rather confused and need a third party opinion. Follow him when you think he is cheating, or consider hiring an actual private investigator to get to the bottom of whats going on. My favorite medical drama, House, has a character, Taub, in it, who was cheating on his wife, who decided to buy him his dream car. I went through my boyfriend's phone because I want to make sure that he's being honest with me. Why did you snoop? He is very jealous about everything and now it seems he doesnt trust me at all. You've gotta work out why you felt the need to do this. I don't hold it against you because I know you must get a lot of emails everyday. "They don't explain why but I have a horrible feeling it's about a sex issue that we have previously. Im not defending that kind of behavior. It's a dilemma as old as time, but today's technology makes it possible to cheat in a whole new variety of ways. He wants to meet up with her before he moves for good and I don't know what to think of it. Reader's Dilemma: Should I Confess to Snooping Through My Boyfriend's Archived post. As someone who has admittedly picked up a boyfriend's cell phone and scrolled right through his text messages, please know that I am not judging you for this mistake. He is a really understanding, empathic and calm guy, but even I did not see him being so unbothered by this kind of betrayal? Does he spend a lot of time in the bathroom with his cell phone? The other day, my friend who has met him while he was visiting me, told me that she found some things about him. i texted him around 5:45 that day to ask if he got home safe, but he told me that the buses were running late. Don't let him guilt-trip you. Michele has written and published hundreds of relationship articles. Podcast hosts Ash Reid, Eilidh Wells and Lauren Kerr were all left shocked by the message. Help! If your boyfriend is acting out of sorts, he may be doing something behind your back, and you dont want to have that in your life. Lipstick on the collar, glitter on his clothes, or perfume on his shirt are never good signs. Scan this QR code to download the app now. She writes: I'm insecure. When I looked through I didn't find anything. I work and am living comfortably. Once we broke up, I learned there was another woman who he was sending text messages and seeing behind my back. They may also shift in their body language or take a pause as they try to come up with an excuse. What kind of question or comment is that? Why You Shouldn't Check Your Partner's Phone - Talkspace Keeping secrets and lying in relationships is never a healthy thing. I've heard things about him and this girl from a friend of his ( unprompted) , but I wanted my boyfriend to tell me. Discord. I have seen a common theme when guys are cheating, though. Maybe he is way angrier than he is showing, but I honestly did not expect him to not care. I am grown and should have known better. Work stress can be exhibited in many ways, but what if theres more to it? The girlfriend was left shocked after she had a look at the lads' group chat and found a few things she had no idea about. Do I tell BF I went through his phone? : r/relationship_advice - Reddit Now I feel like I cant trust him. This may be a source of confusion for him. He was 39 three years ago and I know that he likes women either the same age or younger than him. Of course, it's not what you hope in your case, but you should rule it out nonetheless - and the most effective way is with this tool. However, avoid snooping through his things or you might get caught in the process. If he really feels the need to meet up with his ex for some kind of closure, he should at least be open with you about that. Identify Signs a Guy Has a Secret Girlfriend - VisiHow This is a concern that should be addressed. he had screenshots of hot girls from our college town's tinders on his phone. and our I, F39, have been dating this guy, well call him Carl M40 for about 6 months. Did his job give him an additional phone, or did he purchase it so he could have private calls and texts that you wouldnt know about? We also happened to start arguing a lot more when this happened, and stopped having s3x as often as we used to. I once knew this guy who had a habit of sneaking around and cheating on his girlfriend. she was clearly interested in him and he kept flirting with her, asking her when she was available to hang out and she would do the same. Or worse yet, whether he has a criminal record or is cheating on you? He says to me, "How do I get my girlfriend to trust me? (35 Alarming Signs He May Be). He changes his views on your future together, 19. It's a troublesome combo. I am not sure if he has met her face to face. Sorry if this doesnt make sense. He starts keeping his finances separate from yours, 22. Ask yourself, Why is he keeping me at bay? Unfortunately, keeping you a secret is usually not a good sign. This is especially indicative of cheating ways if he is protective of his phone, not letting you see what hes up to, who hes talking to, or where hes been. Its true that he may just want to try something different, but why cologne? Clearly all of this leads me to believe he has cheated on me with at least the one escort if not several more in the past few months. Ask yourself, Why would his sex drive change suddenly?. (Throwaway account kind of) Im F and we are both 20. How big? He might bring up things like trust problems and insecurities, which would only make you look like the bad guy. If you and your partner usually share your phones location with one another, like with the application called Find My Friends, and all of a sudden, he or she turns it off, that could be a red flag. Be prepared for him to be (rightfully) angry, and don't make excuses for the snooping (e.g., "Oh, your phone just happened to be on the table and I tripped and accidentally fell on it and opened your text messages"). He may be spending his hard-earned cash on someone else. Is My Boyfriend Cheating On Me? (35 Alarming Signs He May Be) - Her Norm I know why she does this, though. She resides with her family in Edmond, Oklahoma.