how to ask a muslim girl for marriage

And at the end of the day, marriage is a risk you are taking. we cant force opinions down each others throats.. and every persons situation is different.. you want a wife to cook for you, alhamdulillah either you have one already or you will inshaAllah.. my husband hates me working and prefers servants to do my work..does that mean im not a responsible wife? I scared my husband by displaying *my* sense of humour good thing he married me anyway :D. Nice article and good discussion. Although this is possible, yet this is the exception to what usually happens and not the rule. If he is single but has the intention of marrying more than one sister, at what point would it be considered proper etiquette to mention this? my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc. IslamQA: The appropriate way to approach and propose to a Muslim woman But the question Id ask is whether its worth the cost. i brought it up and we talked about it and i told him ive never cooked in my life and he said hes cooked a million times and loves to cook and i said okay i will learn as well and we can do it half and half the time iA to be fair to both of us . These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. What else can I say about this modern woman . if both have no time to cook, you gotta figure something out together. 8. 24 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Marriage | Amaliah What do you guys think on this financial aspect? Really you hear about these great brothers with great qualities. Sorry for the inconvenience. Make sure you marry someone who wants the same things that you do, its best to disagree and move on now than it is to emotionally invest in someone who is pulling in a different direction on issues that you dont feel like you can budge on. What about then when we interact with humans especially women who are extremely sensitive? inshAllah lets pray for our Muslim brothers and sisters that we all learn to respect eachother and stop accusing and look into our own mistakes. Being in a relationship or having a deep connection with someone youre attracted to can feel like the most wonderful thing in the world, but we cant deny that it also comes with its challenges. I dont need some stupid lecture about rights from the likes of an emotionally stunted social reject like yourself. it IS a job for all women, however SOME love it and SOME hate it. 6. Food prep does not fall under that standard. Brother I was not raised Muslim but I am Muslim now so your comment means what to the convert??? who would want to marry you? You can. imaginehe comes with flowers or whatever, thatll most probably lead to hopes on the girls side and when he decides to drop this then that might hurt her feelings..like you know what i mean? But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. If you are in doubt, ask. http://www.muslimmarriageevents.org/index.htm. 1. You hyped everybody up on a maybe so sit down shut your trap iron out the quirks find out if he or she is sure of themselves then get it in fa sho. You snooze you lose move on. i agree with everything you said.. .but i am pakistani and i dont think flowers or cake would be awkward at all its like a sweet offering if him or his family are coming into your home to meet your family for the first time its like a friendly thing like salaams thanks for welcoming us into your home type thing kinda like when you go to somebodys house for the first time people bring flowers or a little plant or something u know? I agree that it is peculiar that the article comes up after the Shaykhy Crush post. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, the bros stopped communicating and werent heard from for several weeks. Trust me, im speaking from experience. For example, if you're dating a Muslim girl and she has a car, you should drive whenever you meet. Email. There are alot of things that I learned from this article. Marriage for Muslim Girls. He did not accept the offer and simply said: "In Sha Allah"" (if God wills). For example, thobes can turn parents off sometimes. you dont want love and harmony? If she is from an immigrant family, her parents may expect her to marry someone from their own culture, for this reason if you belong to a different culture, they may simply refuse to even consider you. You should also discuss these questions with the person youre getting to know. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. To be honest, I dont think it has anything to do with religious, less religious, having had practice or not. You will find less practicing brothers who are just as awkward as religious brothers. Begin with foreplay including words of love. The most common methods to propose nowadays come from Ali ibn Abi Thalib (RA), who came to the father of the girl he loved which happened to be the Prophet (SAW) himself. Praying istikhara before any major decision, or minor for that matter, is a good habit. . As everyone has their own customs and culture, you should pay respect to each other. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. At the meeting, dont wear the Hijab. It is not for you to allow anyone to take anything from the home without your husbands permission. This answer was collected from Seekersguidance.org. Undoubtedly correspondence via chat rooms is more dangerous than correspondence by mail, but both are bad. it is true that wanting to uphold what one thinks is proper Islamic etiquette prevents both brothers and sisters from being too outgoing or wanting to seem like they want to create an attraction. personally i never learned how to cook before i was married because i was studying and working 24/7 and never had any time then i got married and i felt bad that my husband was working 24/7 and wanted a nice healthy home cooked meal so i learned slowly and figured it out and though i still dont really like to cook and its tons of harddd work and even though i am tired from going to school and studying and homework, and lots of meetings, etc etc i still go do groceries and errands and clean everything and prepare and cook lots of food and clean everything after and it takes soooo long and i get reallyyy exhausted at the end of it but then when my husband eats it and is really happy and appreciates it and says thanks for being such a sweet and caring wife it makes everything totally worth it to me :) so theres a difference between ability to cook, attitudes towards it before marriage, attitudes during marriage, and attitudes towards cooking itself, and attitudes towards cooking for your husband .these are all separate. I guess its just been too many times where brothers literally look at me to keep the conversation going or they go into lecture mode and I dont get why. It is impossible for the marital relationship to be successful if the wife does not play a continuous positive roll in it, even if the husband is an excellent example so be mindful O righteous wife of this matter and take hold of your responsibilities as the success of the family unit relies upon you. Thatll provide a more accurate pic than his performance at the visit. LOL. I wish you the best." When they finally got in touch with the sisters again, they just apologized and said they could no longer go through with anything. Personally, if I am planning on going from a relatively sure situation of supporting myself and my child, to relying on someone else to do so, I want to know within a reasonable expectation that he is capable of it and can show that he has a stable background. Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale. May ALLAH Grant you success in obtaining a pious spouse- ameen. And besides I know how to cook and I probably wont rely on any one for cooking . o He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body. But the brother sitting next to me in class would not stop begging me to send him the link to this article. It does not store any personal data. And this is the only way we know each other which is through internetwe havent met..but we have seen each others pictures.. Well i hope all this makes sense to you..and you will be able to help me out here, cause right now i really need it.. i have been lookin through ur site and trying to learn more about our religion..and it is mashallah a good source.. but me still confused..about this situation we havent done anything wrong..just talk online.. and hoping that Allah will guide us to be together but the question that keeps coming up on my mind is if Islaamicaly is all this acceptable.. i have talked to other ppl..and he has talked to people too..and some say its wrongand some say its ok as long as our niyyat is good and we havent done anything wrong. The Guide to Dating a Muslim Girl - Romance Compass This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Lower your gaze, be modest, and look for a spouse that do it as well. yes but some of these girls have spent a long time studying and becoming doctors and lawyers and are trying to do something great with their lives they have become 25 or 30 because they have their MD, MS, MBA, JD, OR PHD.. isnt that something to be proud of and let her follow her dreams to? This includes: some want to but dont know how and some love doing it 24/7 some dont want to but still love to see how happy it makes their husband. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. Cooking is not a barrier to learning your deen and teaching your children, it is part of wifehood and motherhood. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family. Some profess to want to support the wife and family, but they do not manage their finances, keep a job, do not have any savings, or have thousands of dollars in debt on top of that. I personally dont think that this is because of a lack of practice brother ZAI, because these are things that come naturally to us as men when we are around women, if we free ourselves from any restrictions that is and allow ourselves to act upon our natural instincts. But there are a fraction of women who are high maintainance, and have a no need to apply if not wealthy enough standard. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of cookies. If you were to persist in these matters while he is tired, then it is upon you alone to deal with its results if your husband becomes upset. Coming over for a visit does not equate to proposing. Sorry, gentlemen, but if you think its my job to cook, youll get nothing but lukewarm Hotpockets FOR LIFE. Ive never seen the guy bringing something, and giving it to the girl. See I would agree with you about asking about cooking if you would have worded your comment nicely-. My Arabic learning app is now available for Android on the Play Store: The answers on Hawramani.com are based on the research of Ikram Hawramani in the Quran, hadith, scholarly works and respected fatwa sources. If he is clearly having a bad day, go to him and assist him. personally, i am both a mix of western and traditional thinking i think traditionally and culturally, it is the job of the woman to be at home and take care of the food, home, kids, etc, but not islamically. ok if housework/cooking/cleaning is not a job why is being a chef a job, why is being a maid/janitor a job.. and then that means since men are going to work to earn for their families and that is their islamic DUTY then that means they dont have a job or shouldnt be tired or upset or stressed out and should be very happy and skip merrily to work and the wife shouldnt appreciate or say thank you for his hard days work right? Even if you dont feel like chaperoning is the solution for you, you can always ask to meet him somewhere public like a restaurant, cafe, library, park, etc. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Were they all sisters? Western culture is not modern culture by any means or stretch of the imagination; there are more than one modern cultures in the world. If his response is to go with the flow or nothing serious, believe him. But it gives you plus points if you do it courgeously and wish to learn from them. ps; not everyone refusing to be 2nd wife is against polygamy. Why have you chosen me as a potential spouse? pls I need ruqya and some quranic verse for prayer, Your email address will not be published. Even if you feel that you have become too deep in sin to become a good Muslim, then do not despair. AIDING IN THE OBEDIENCE TO ALLAH Get somebody to talk to her 1. MashaaAllah beneficial article even though much of it seems common mannerisms. However Id like to further stress a few things so inshaaAllah it is helpful for brothers in future because really brothers are the future leaders. Set the intention right for marriage. If you cant cook start learning it. 10. They should not ask about personal matters that have no bearing on the matter being discussed, such as how old a person is, how tall he or she is, or where he or she lives etc. ' and do it. The wives and daughters of the Prophet (saw) worked really hard around the house, and it was while Khadija (ra) was lovingly giving food to the Prophet (saw) that Allah (swt) sent His salaam to her. This article says that the brother should bring something. Do you want to work after marriage and have a career? very well said!!! GAMES AND DISTRACTIONS Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. 1, p.152; Ayan ul-Shiah, Vol. I am used to be like one of those guys living up the 3isyaan, mixing with girls and I can confirm exactly what you just said. This is what the scholars call the principle of warding off harm.. Im just curious. A husband should realize these things and be grateful that his wife is doing this work since its not incumbent on her, she is doing it out of love. I Want to Marry This Guy, but My Parents Don't Take Him Serious. Are religious brothers just nerdy and awkward to the opposite gender in general? Know the rights of Allah and His Prophet, know the Deen I highlighted some words . Honesty is the best policy. Proposal procedure according to sharee'ah - Islam Question & Answer Will you rely on restaurants only ? even if you believe her to be in the wrong.. seriously is that how we respect each other? Here is a long list of essential questions to ask a potential husband: What is the most thing you value in your life? Salaam Alaikum Brother while I respect your concern but where does it say phone text social networks are not permissible in the process of finding a mate or having contact to determine if someone is suitable for marriage? ADMIRABLE JEALOUSY The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". Be confident about the decision you make and no matter what, continue your proposal to that girl. Expressing interest and expecting an answer within 24hrs. But remember to put your feet on the ground and be stay humble. What is the role of religion in your life? Most husbands view their wives who handle their needs as a sign from the signs of love. Change the way you behave to them even though you are not in a good terms before. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. Please do not ask us about our citizenship status from the first visit. Fatema: Abu J, I guess you and I wont be gettin hitched. Personalities comes out during the the courtship process in front of a mahram. You may be on the peak of your confidence when asking for marriage. How many kids do you want? According to a hadith by Tirmidhi, the Prophet told Muslims not to make a joke and playing with anything related to marriage. Answer Praise be to Allah. Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms. just keep an open mind dude, theres tons of girls out there and just relax. What wins a sisters heart is making her feel chosen understandably, everyone has a past, but avoid overly showcasing your past experiences with other sisters. Whether it is a child growing up, or a new Muslim coming into the deen, the point is that manners and etiquettes must be from the primary things taught to us, no matter how old we are. I thought iblees was our sworn enemy. This is so simple in Islam. Do not pull her hair to see if it is real and not a wig. This gives him the space to be honest and transparent with you since both of you just met and have yet to build trust toward each other. but its unbelievably rewarding. I appreciate it on behalf of the converts and reverts. i dont understand. Why? My argument is not about thatIm simply saying what CONSTITUTES those things is not exactly the same for men and women and further how men and women assign value to specific things that define attraction is also different. And this is acceptable? Conversation whether verbally or in writing between men and women is permissible in and of itself, but it may be a way of falling into the traps of the Shaytaan.
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