ex still treats me like his girlfriend

Its really disgusting. She has seen the devastation that my ex has caused. Best wishes to everyone on here, happy healing! Thats the bottom line. Everything had to be his way and on his terms, he was desperate for children which he made clear pretty much from the beginning, but I was too young and didnt want that yet. We will be stronger after this. He never disclosed he was married and by the time I found out, I was also hooked. God bless you! Ill admit, I felt a pang of hurt in my heart but a quick succession of other emotions rushed in like anger and overwhelming relief! Meanwhile Im doing my best to heal from the pain and abuse of his narcissistic behavior that entire time. An easy way to keep women strung along forever, while they do what they want with whoever they want and get away with having multiple women. Meanwhile he was trying to make contact with me more than ever!! I know it must be painful, as well as frustrating. I always advocate shutting down the lines of communication with your ex if youre in doubt about what to do, because this is almost never going to hurt your chances of getting them back in the long run. Narcissists are at the early infant stage but that is what draws us codependent types to them. Deal with the knowledge that he does everything for her to make her happy. Check out my article, Narcissism for Beginners, for a sneak peek into the mind of a narcissist. My questions are: since he went back to his ex, who obviously is aware of his tendendacies as hed left her who knows how many times only to return, how long does it take when they start to devalue a former victim? For more context we broke up because of my jealousy, he broke up with me. Anyway now its all me of course and im mental he even threatened restraining orders because im mental how ridiculous is that. He could be developing/growing and changing Then, the woman will say something like, "Okay, fine. Hi Kate, thank you for sharing your experience. We decided that we were going to break up and give each other space until mid Jan and then talk and see what would happen. Keep in mind that the "I love you" from your ex could actually be a cry for help as . We met online and rea My Girlfriend left me after being together 6 years and for a guy that treats her like dirt! In the morning he kissed me and asked if he could drive me to work. But at the risk of sounding evil, I will say that the current girlfriend is the one who is stuck with him nowshe has to deal with his issues and with his family, not me. but then, he deleted his accountjust the day before he was going to meet her parents But keep in mind that when a narcissist is securing new supply, he will love-bomb her; just as he did you in the beginning. This can get in the way of true emotional intimacy and feel. It really hurt my self-esteem to be married to someone that never wanted to have sex with me! Her own mother an best friend warned her also, all to no avail. I am too. Also I sent her the recent screens shots of him telling me he misses and loves me. Your story is eerilly similar, these N are pros, at what they do. For any number of reasons, your ex has decided that breaking up is the best, most logical way forward and yet, theyre still in love with you to some extent, or at least still have lingering romantic feelings for you and care about you. I am also Lebanese. He knows I am weak when it comes to him, I blocked him on FB and I will block him from my cell phone, I even blocked his new girlfriend (for my sake) I do not want to look at it and get upset. please help. He hoovered me for a while saying he still loved me and our child and still wanted to marry me and than the threats came and I went completely no contact. Here is an article that I hope might help you: http://letmereach.com/2014/10/27/the-silent-treatment-plays-on-your-fear-of-abandonment/, This article helped me more than any of the others on narcissistic people. A month ago, the woman he was with before me showed up at my door to claim him after I had put him out again for disappearing. should I have just continued and stayed his friend? weird thing is he didnt bring much to the table apart from promises, he had E.D all way through 5 years and we probably was fully intimate 3 times in that time. He told her that I was having a lot of problems since the break up and I wouldnt leave him alone. Im not bothering them, no calling, drive bys or anything; I just kind of dropped from the face of the earth when he walked out. The point is EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT; its my fault, I put him out, but its not his fault he disappeared. its time for me to live my life free from that monster. We dodged a bullet, ladies. Maybe she wants details about your relationship with him (before he walked out on you) so she can figure things out. I agreed, because I don't want to lose him and then I can still at least be friends with him. he consistently promised we would live together when he moved out his parents (age 35 lol), after 4 years he moved out and then backtracked on promises, said he had to know he could stand on his own two feet lol. Its been six month they are together, and for some reasons I still feel like hes in the honeymoon phase now hes on holiday with her meeting her parents, and im feeling crushed. (I tried blocking him on my phone but his texts still come through.) This may sound bizarre, but often when your ex is acting like an asshole to you or being cold and distant, it means they still care about you or have feelings for you. I also believe he is afraid of what her children will do to him if he dumps her. Be happy you are you and go on with a good life. All rights reserved. I guess she doesnt believe me, now I feel there was no point in helping her. Everyone tells me how happy he is. Yess hell come to see the kids and he used them to get me back. He eventually tells me to have an abortion or I must go back to my country and give birth there. I would compare myself with her in ways that werent fair or very nice, but it is natural to do that. If theyre being mean or rude, react in a way they wont expect, by not falling into their trap and being kind, polite, and defusing any potential confrontation. His doesnt surprise me. If you work in the public eye, showing up at your place of employment It may benefit you to find a counselor so you can overcome any feelings of depression and/or low self-esteem. What are your thoughts if the ow is very unattractive, uneducated, no house/money, etc. then after sometime became his main lady. I am FINALLY done! My car was parked in my yard the majority of the time because it was broke down for three months or before the time he walked away. We just talked how we've been and while he was driving me back home, he held my hand!? You do not want to cause pain to his gf if you know how painful it is for your bf to still miss his ex and even breakup for her. I ignored them as growing pains in a new marriage, but than came the tantrums over anything I did. Its the fact that he replaced me so easily, and so quickly, as if I were nothing. Your ex brags about self improvement and accomplishment. Two years later Im right back where I was before the separation. I no longer care about my exs new life with his new girlfriend, because Im free of his crap an I feel sorry for her. There are many elements involved in recovering from this type of relationship. By entering this site you declare If he does make contact, he is beyond rude and hostile for no reason. I dont want to make the same mistakes again. I cannot get passed this. Well what can I said!! But now he has stage 4 brain cancer and no health insurance. Using The Law Of Attraction To Get Your Ex Back, 6 Ways To Change Your Exs Mind About Breaking Up, Click here and take my free 5-minute quiz, Watch Brad Browning's free video presentation. Anonymous, I cannot say for certain that his new girlfriend is putting up with more because I have no idea. He has been with the new GF for approx 9 months I think. I dont know how to say it without sounding mean so I apologize if anyone is offended. I totally understand you. That's why you should never be jealous of your . What I hate is the fact that sometimes I still look for him in Facebook and it s so self-destructivr and so disgusting. Chin upwe will get through this and they will will hopefully get whats coming to them some day. Hes getting married so why wont he just stop being so cruel to me? He never wanted for anything. You do not want to cause pain to his gf if you know how painful it is for your bf to still miss his ex and even breakup for her. Analyzing what he's doing with the new woman just keeps you stuck and thinking potentially ugly thoughts about yourself. My ex and I have been broken up for almost 5mos now. I was criticised for things constantly, felt like I NEEDED approval, hed always say I didnt cos I had my own mind, but if I ever did do something on my own terms hed go mad anyway so I couldnt win. Its an issue of ability to feel empathy. I am not sure what to do in this situation, my ex and I broke up a week ago and he wants to be friends as it's a "out of all the people I've kicked out of my life it can't be you" type deal. She only cryed in bed when the sun shined and everyone was happy. we all have been in the boat and sadly sometimes life gave you experiences that we are not ready to deal with. He was feeling so puffed up from his hot new girlfriend he actually had the nerve to ask me out for drinks. I realise he has never loved me because they do not know how to love. It bothers me and surprises me that they are still together, although it shouldnt cause he is such a convincing LIAR so he probably has her fooled like he did me, and he CANNOT be alone. Much or your writing puts the narcs in the shoes of a man and the victim as female. She (his daughter) even admitted they are soul mates and she is happy for him. I blocked her azz. Unlike the typical narcissist, mine never told me I was his soul mate and he never told me I was the one. I do show affection from time-to-time, but not to this extent. To me, everything was as usual. He really wanted to get married. I dont know the percentage of genders of narcs but there are plenty of narcissistic females out there too and itd be very helpful to us men to feel included in the conversation. I was having none of it. But he has defeated me and made it like he couldnt stand to be around me. For the day that I dont get anxiety at the thought of him touching her.I felt like I was slowly getting there and then boom I found out about this girlfriend :/ reading these things online helps for sure! Best wishes for your recovery and with maintaining No Contact, Mamajona. The thought of him with someone else makes me soooo sick. His life is constantly a conflict and will always be. I was very pretty but didnt know it because of the hurtful things I was told about myself. My husband left me for an absolutely horrible looking female who also cheated on her spouse and walked out on her kids. Thank you for the link, I will definitely check it out. He said these things the first time he cheated on me and now with his new wife to be. she acted like i was after my ex, but i had already moved on with someone else and she had contacted me ! Spend more time together doing the things you both enjoy. But I believe she does have some positive qualities. <3, So Mrs Kim do you think the woman he is with is going to hurt him or him hurt her he is always on FB talking good things about her and taking pictures with her kids on FB what do u do he has my kids right now and is not trying to give me back my kids its like he is trying to prove something to this girl he is with so even though he had sex with me no contact can reverse the role right please reply thxs so much I have been waiting for your response. But, that he still wanted me. I love your comment freedom is a blessing even at 61! One tip I can give you is that cut down the contact. All I ever wanted was for him to love me. Yes, at first he will. I had an ex do this to me. Do Narcissists want their ex back? I hated clubs, drinking and the fact that my ex spent so many nights out leaving me lonely with a crying baby. I was floored! he drools over all the hot girls that he befriends, by being the nice guy, but he cant get any of them bc hes a short broke unemployed, unattractive virgin lolhe denied being interested in them the whole time, but its apparent that he was lying the whole time, as suspected. Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! I think if he stays with her he wont contact me for fear I will let her know. He thinks `Wauw look at me how adorable and loving person i am.. And remember.. Everything he does for her now, is minution for a little later when the supply is getting boring. She appear apologetic, at least I thought, then shortly after her pot-shot begin. When flaws are revealed, they see no point in staying. She trying to leave medicine and go into research. Less than a month i find out that he has moved in with his new supply 1 hr away from here. Now he drives to her house all the time (I used to have to pick him up) and he drives them everywhere in his car. He said he finally found someone that he loves EVERYTHING about and that they click in every way. For more of Brad's "get your ex back" advice, visit his popular YouTube channel or follow him on Facebook. I dont mean to imply that anyone he has ever been in a relationship with are ugly ducklings. I'm not complaining but it is pretty confusing b/c whenever I ask him if we are together, he says he isn't ready or whatever. Beautiful people make them look good by association. I am just wondering about saving the new girlfriend. Yes, I want him in my life too but not as a friend, I want him to be my partner and have made it clear only met another "we'll take it day by day". Will listen to the other ones they have on this topic. At first, I didnt recognize her but when I zeroed in on that smile, I realized it is the woman who knocked on my door and walked off with my ex!! Again, I am totally ashamed and full of regret- I never wanted to be one of those women who disrespected another woman. I know he do love lots of attention and always look for attention from women especially. When you look at it analytically, they are the equivalent of a Kindergarten bully who struts around on the playground with a lollipop. Most dont seem to want to see their exes at all if it werent for having kids together. This means that your ex could be after your emotional strength and approvalwhich would empower your ex immensely. First, I have to mention something I think a lot of people miss when they're thinking back about an ex that really hurt them and comparing their relationship to their ex's new flame. It might have been decent to even amazing in the beginning, but isn't that true for 99 percent of all relationships? I found out in the summer my bf of 2 years got another girl pregnant. He seems more committed and public with this relationship than he was with me. I ignored them as growing pains in a new marriage, but then came the tantrums over anything I did. By the way he told her what not to wear, no weave, no pants, no makeup, exactly the way he did with me. must add he also went out on two occasions with two seperate women , new friend women because he wanted to understand women lol (he was with me at the time), total lack of care. When that didnt work, he texted me and of course, they went unanswered as well. Or maybe she does and feels this time around she can handle it better. This radio show talks all about how women feel about the new girl having it better than we had it. They like them cause they will provide more food, sex, shelter, ego strokes, etc for them without complaining, either cause they havent figured them out yet, or their self esteem is that low that they are willing to do anything to have man, any man, even if he cheats on them!! He hasnt apologized at all to be for all hes done. You see, questions about new flames after narcissistic abuse are really questions about whether or not there is something flawed about you and whether you could have gotten a different result by changing your behavior somehow. He said she had anger issues and thats he forgives her and like he did to me. Again, I am really grateful for your answer, it gives me the reassurance I need at the moment. He informed me they are getting married in 3 months and I showed zero emotion to his news. and that hurts like hell. My ex-narc has left me with 3 kids to look after while he is having the time of his life with his new supply. Am I am not being facetious. not feeling Empathy for the new source , she creep-ed behind my back with him texting , Facebook and what ever else they could do.. all the time we were living together .we lived together for three years and he had the gall to say we only dated I cant wait for him to pull of that mask of his a treat her like the creeping,fake christian slut she isshe likes to post God is good and blessing to all ..what christian go after another womans man or participates a secret relationship with him She deserves everything that is coming to her ..She knew he was with me and still started a relationship with him .. Narcissists make light of their previous relationships. Hes got her good! Thank you so much for your reply. Next day, I got all dressed up and looked like I stepped out of a magazine; by 11:45 he had not showed up and I was pissed that again, he was not respecting my time.
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