Take off your Hijab #wattys2020 Reads 182K Votes 16.6K Parts 50 Time 6h 55m Start reading xxAyshaxxx Complete First published Jun 08, 2018 These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. One day they wake up and realize how disconnected they are from their upbringing as a Muslim, so, Why am I still wearing the hijab again? Maybe they felt that they didnt need it anymore. I only want to wear a simple T-shirt and trousers. I wanted to stop hiding myself. I cant say its entirely wrong, although it is not the main reason. For a really long time the hijab has been associated with a women's beliefs, morals and personality. This article first appeared in Magdalene.co, an Indonesia-based feminist web magazine, and is reposted with permission. After that, I shall start loving myself. Something went wrong. 7. So, how can we help our sisters constructively and with adaab (good manners and kindness)? Strolling into a local cafe in Upstate New York, running my fingers through my freshly blown locks, it was as if I were starring in my own Pantene commercial. I used to take it off once I was out of the school. The pace of consumer price increases retreated to 0.2% in June from a year earlier. 3- The wisdom of imposing the veil Haidi Stroud-Watts in Sydney and Shery Ahn in New York drive to the Asia, Australia and New Zealand market opens while wrapping the biggest stories of the previous day on Wall Street. You can see face and her hands even with her hijab on, and you can get a general idea of her figure. Thankfully, my deen is in a much better state at the moment (I have started to pray again following a multi-year 'hiatus')but still, I am not content with the hijab. The idea that Muslim women who wear hijabs are oppressed can influence the idea that there is nothing wrong with disregarding Muslim women's constitutional right to practice freedom of religion by wearing the hijab. I'm not too sure what I hope to gain from posting this. I wasnt ashamed of the fact that Im a Muslim, but I didnt want to share this personal thing with strangers. Stereotypes That Today's Hijabis Turned Upside Down! I cant blame them because it is a very personal journey that is hard to understand, if you have never been in a similar one. Now I have started to know, accept and love myself more. You don't have to wear black only. The reasons I started covering in high school were a mix of Koranic scripture and excuses to skip swim practice. I havent exactly come up with an answer, but we see it all around us.. United We Stand to End Violence Against Women: No Silence, No Violence. In order to strengthen our. For a really long time the hijab has been associated with a women's beliefs, morals and personality.As I grew up around my hijabi friends, I started to notice how much these stereotypes and assumptions take a toll on them.It is frustrating to feel like with your choice comes certain expectations of you and with these expectations comes the horror they face if one day they choose to take it off. That's a dramatic decline from . The belief that Muslim women do not choose to wear the hijab is dangerous and problematic. If its someone you know, someone youre close enough to that this is something they would be open to talking with you about, advice will, InshaAllah, be better received. I was angry at the fact that this is a personal matter and we weren't close enough for him to bring it up like this. I told him I didn't know if I should take it as an insult or a compliment and he's said it was a compliment, I smiled and left. ", "One day, I called my husband and told him that I'm going out now and I won't be wearing the hijab. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Always start from a place of kindness and by listening to your sister in Islam. I fear that if I do, then the cycle of resentment will repeat and I will stop praying again. He is the former Executive Manager and Editor-in-Chief of E-Da`wah Committee in Kuwait, and a contributing writer and counselor of Reading Islam. I felt as if I had tricked myself and others into believing I was a good person because of my hijab. Radical Self-Love for Everybody and Every Body, September 30, 2016 by Arlita Rachmawati Rahman, Guest Writer Leave a Comment. One thing we know for sure is that as sisters take off their hijab, piling on guilt, snark, and mean-spirited judgment by others helps no one and is unkind. Things rarely go well and are understood in the way you want them to be understood in a public comment thread.. So, how can we be supportive of whatever our sisters may be going through while offering loving counsel? Lets make sure we center love and compassion with each other in whatever our struggles are without harsh public judgment and shaming. You'll Be Proud Looking at Yourself in the Mirror After You Read This! Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Muslim women have been prohibited from wearing their headcoverings in a number of contexts. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. The hijab, once worn as a scarf covering one's hair and covering the body, can only be taken off in front of family members or women. as individuals, we must also strengthen the bonds we have with one another as a community. Once a girl reaches puberty, nothing of her body may be seen by men who are not immediate family members except this and these (he pointed to his face and hands while saying so). (Abu Dawud). You need to think, dear Yasmina, that by wearing your hijab to seek nearness to and the pleasure of Allah alone you are doing great things that you have to be proud of: So, if you think of wearing hijab for these reasons does it make it easier? In Trumps America, acting Muslim is more dangerous than ever, Stop asking me to condemn terrorists just because Im Muslim, How Muslim women bear the brunt of Islamophobia. For me, it gave the action a purpose and made it personal., Its part of a larger concept of how one dresses, speaks and behaves altogether. Make sure you can qualify for a low-interest personal loan. We talked to some women who have had negative experiences when it came to their choices with hijab. 2) It's not body hugging. Based on what Ive read about the history of the hijab, women once had to wear it to protect themselves by assuming the identity of a noblewoman. I do not think wearing a hijab has anything to do with my devotion. She is a makeup fanatic and spends 80% of her time looking at new products, and putting them on her wishlist. You could reduce your interest rate. They then look for someone or something to blame it on. I do not think that God will think less of me because of what I wear. Just six raw or roasted macadamia nuts can make a dog sick. [Use your wisdom and] gauge the moment to see if it is the right time to have this discussion. If you are told that hijab is a symbol of obedience for Allah, then you can argue back saying that obedience can be shown in different ways. Sometimes the decision to take off hijab has little to nothing to do with the hijab itself, and sometimes its all about the hijab. Your email address will not be published. It is what I do and what my intention is that define me in the eyes of God. That was why I was ambitious in school. Also remember that you do not have to wear the hijab in front of your husband. But advice should be secondary more important is to understand what shes going through and give her a safe space to talk, says Melanie. Look for symptoms like muscle shakes, vomiting, high . I knew that if it was the right thing to do, I should always stick to it no matter where I was, instead of altering my values according to the people surrounding me. Always start from a place of kindness and by listening to your sister in Islam. At the end of the day, your relationship with Allah (S) goes above all, and we encourage you to get closer to Him by talking to Him, making dua, and learning about His attributes. Social media has given us a false sense of entitlement to say how we feel about other peoples lives, but its because they share it on their platform. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. I don't like that the hijab (or rather, the community) implies that the burden of 'protection' lies on women. I am not against wearing the hijab. Source: Aldo Picaso for Pexels], Filed Under: Religion & Spirituality, zPosts Tagged With: asian, culture, Gender, hijab, identity, indonesia, internalized fatphobia, islam, muslim, Muslim women, religion, self-love, Sexuality, southeast asia, I grew up half Jewish and half Italian-Catholic. Religious freedom includes the right to wear religious garb, such as headscarves or hijabs. Answer I empathize with your feeling of discomfort and fear when you go out. Allah simply orders that your clothing be loose, non-flashy, and that it covers the areas of your body that are considered your`awra(nakedness). . Although most of my friends somewhat accepted my reasons, I know that some think I have gone astray. To get a sense of how airports are handling the crush so far, passenger rights-company AirHelp analyzed delays of more than 15 minutes and cancelations in June at European airports with 5,000 or . If so, are these goodintentions? So every morning since, I wrap the piece of fabric around my face, an unspoken promise to continue challenging myself, held together by straight pins and a sometimes fragile faith. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Hijab is often referred to as the headcover but entails much more. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Quran Blessing is a leading online Quran classes provider for kids & adults. A struggle is never going to be easy. Once women wear the hijab, they are not likely to take it off. 3- Do you really believe that your life is going to be happy when being unveiled? This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Uncovering wouldnt be as simple as just having one less accessory to worry about before leaving the house. Our Living section is a woman's best friend. Hijab is not an Islamic invention; rather it is a commandment from Allah the Almighty in all previous scriptures. That teacher got so mad and told me, "If I hear again. how important it is? Some turned out to be less open-minded than I expected. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master's in Arabic. When I was going back to Indonesia for the summer, I thought reluctantly that I had to wear the hijab again, like when kids are forced by their parents to do something they dont want to do. We are humans, its normal to change our minds. 4- it should not be an attire specifically worn by men only. A murder at the Kremlin walls: Who ordered Boris Nemtsov dead? I'm a hijabi so I must be a hard worker, who doesn't talk to boys or have any fun. I didnt need to do more; that was enough. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. A Muslim is not allowed to obey any human being who asks him to disobey Allah. Therefore, I do not think wearing is to satisfy Allah SWT, as it is not really a habluminallah (relation to God). Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Why is it necessary to see her hair? At the time, I felt it was a privacy issue, like a gay person who doesnt want to wear a t-shirt declaring hes gay. I started to take it off when I was traveling or going out with friends, after a while I started to realize that people became accustomed to it and they did't act weird or address anything. I started to even feel trapped and like I can't breathe properly when I have it on. After languishing for months, crude surged . Listen. A couple of months after that, a friend said that every time he saw a woman wearing hijab, he assumed she was conservative, close-minded, and unapproachable. For me, it is harder to figure out yourself in a communal society. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. You are not safe for us." [/fbvideo] Aghnia was then asked to go to a private room along with security personnel so that her hijab could be checked. I hid my body because I hated it. At the same time, she should not be lavished with praise as the hijab is mandatory. May Allah Most High protect you and keep you and your family safe. Your test is your own and hers is her own why would you abandon her for this one thing? See for yourself and get a little bit of everything! I hated myself since I knew wearing the hijab enabled me to get away with not improving my devotion. It is reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) once said to Asma, daughter of his close friend Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with them): O Asma! "The benefit is paying off a balance at a much lower interest rate, which can save you quite a bit . He has established for the woman what suits her nature, gives her full security, and more dignity. Your status in Islam is something unique, something novel, and something that has no similarity in any other faith. Ive worn a hijab for decades. However, it doesn't seem like the OP is in a place of danger, I might be wrong though. For someone with this view, they may wonder: what's wrong with asking someone to take off their hijab if they are forced to wear it? It is obligated for reasons far beyond covering the body. "I had an incident at work, it happened twice. Aside from my older sister, some of my closest friends have also descarfed. Many women went through the motions in life they got their degrees, found a husband, had kids, etc., and their identity as a Muslim took a backseat. As I grew up around my hijabi friends, I started to notice how much these stereotypes and assumptions take a toll on them. So, if a woman can wash her face; i.e., pour water from the top of the forehead to the bottom of the jaw, and from one ear to the other, and wipe her head with her hand, or wipe over her head's cover which is spread under chin and being worn in the state of purity; then a woman's ablution is valid. The self-imposed pressure to represent Islam and be an example of a good and accomplished Muslim was relentless. If there are discomforts, then question it and read more about it. Just be there for each other. After 9/11, I fought my parents to keep wearing the headscarf. In the Quran, we are told that what means: {Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. Shouldnt we, females, push each other forward rather than putting each other down? He is the only one who can see your whole body. She never describes the details of the body. I do not think that not wearing a hijab makes me less of a Muslim and I do not think wearing one made me a better one either. 2- What is your goal when thinking of not wearing hijab? He graduated from Al-Azhar University and earned his MA in Hadith literature from Leiden University. Remember, youre human, and its okay to struggle, which is why its important to constantly, remind yourself why you wear it, and who you wear it for. Based on these Quranic verses, hijab is a direct command from Allah the Almighty to Muslim women. ", "My husband used to get a lot of comments saying, 'I never thought you'd marry a hijabi. All rights reserved. Instead of feeling sexy, I thought those noticeable parts of my body were making me unattractive. Before we go further, wed like to make clear that we are not Islamic scholars or experts in, , but we have more than a decade of experience in serving hijab-wearing Muslim women and Muslim women in general, not just through our commitment to selling quality hijabs and hijab accessories to help Muslim women feel comfortable, beautiful and proud in their hijab but also through our. These can make hijab a true struggle and daily battle that may result in resentment to the hijab or the decision to take it off. Image rights belong to the respective owners. I have lived my whole life in a communal society where others have held more power in defining who I am. So, how can we be supportive of whatever our sisters may be going through while offering loving counsel? The Prophet (PBUH) said: Nothing befalls a believer, a (prick of a) thorn or more than that, but Allah will raise him one degree in status thereby, or erase a bad deed. Would I feel better without the hijab? But while the hijab can help make a woman, it can break her, too. "Do you ever take it off?" "Do you even have to take care of your hair under there?" Here's a quick lesson on the modesty practice of Muslim women. With regard to her specific fate, Allah knows best what it will be. Hijab can be anything that fulfills the following criteria (for women) 1) It covers your whole body except the face, hands till the wrist. Copyright IslamWeb 2023. I made [Read More], 2020 has been a difficult, heartbreaking, and tumultuous [Read More], Hi! But there was comfort in taking that walk, in acknowledging the jagged, imperfect edges of my religious practice and in allowing myself room to breathe. I came to realize I felt better and more like myself. You could hide something in your hair. It is generally the modest Islamic clothing women wear to cover their heads when they go outside or in front of men who are outside of their immediate family. That is like taking a shortcut. These are questions we at Haute Hijab have mused internally and outwardly with our own communities in discussing the various reasons why Muslim women sometimes de-jab and what we owe our sisters in Islam who are going through this and making these decisions. My presence felt like a never-ending public-service announcement. At parties, I laughed louder and smiled wider to show that Muslim girls just wanna have fun, too. Allah swt knows what a hard struggle it is, and what you're giving up by wearing it. ", "My concern most of the time when I felt like taking it off was not religion but society, what would people at work think or say. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. If you do want to tell them then I suggest sitting down on the couch, taking deep breaths and then breaking the news to them. ", "For some people, if you decide to show your hair after you have been covering it for a while, that clearly means that you decided to give up on your manners or morals. She interviewed 21 Muslim women, aged 18 to 58, who have been victims of Islamophobic violence. It was a huge decision, especially coming from predominantly Muslim Indonesia, where I lived and grew up. 8. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. I would have to unravel the past 25 years, and Im not ready for that yet to stand for something less than my faith. Remember, a big part of your, is your character. Your Hijab Questions Answered What do you want to know about the way Muslim women dress, the headscarf, and the hijab? There are days when my hijabi self can take on the world and days when I just want to let it all go. 31 likes, 0 comments - kerri kelly (@kkellyyoga) on Instagram: " Recovering Ourselves: A 12-Step Approach to Liberation with Nikki Myers & Kerri Kelly Ju." Hijab is something worn by Muslim women as a sign of submitting themselves to god. 9. I dont know what I expected that morning, my trial run at life without the scarf. Something about showing off my hair to the world made me walk a little taller, with confidence and a devil-may-care attitude. we are in close touch with the lives of Muslim women and have gained a lot of insight into what drives Muslim women as well as our challenges and struggles. Do you not like yourself in hijab anymore? Does it restrict your freedom? Keep your dog away from macadamia nuts and foods that have macadamia nuts in them. Lets make sure we center love and compassion with each other in whatever our struggles are without harsh public judgment and shaming. Muslim American women should not be treated like pesticides when we are the essential nutrients needed for America to blossom. The ACLU in your state can help. Performing ablution with cream on ones skin, Using used water for wiping the head in ablution, Removing Mucus of Nose in Ablution and Ghusl, Circulating Water with One Scoop (Handful) of Water Over the Body Part in Ablution, Saying Bismi Allah in the Middle of Ablution If One Forgets to Say it at the Beginning, Religions, Sects and Da'wah (Call to Islam), Jinaayaat (Criminology) and Islamic Judicial System, Islamic Politics and International Affairs, Medical Issues, Media, Culture and Means of Entertainment. Is it possible to turn the dupattasuggested by your husband into a hijab? And, we are always here for you feel free to reach out to us. Before, I wouldnt have even raised my hand. Whatever it is, we hope you have a good support system around you to talk things through and time to spend in private conversation with Allah (S) around whatever youre struggling with. Once again, it is not that they are not allowed to take off their turban in Public, it is that they chose not to take of their turban in Public. You have to be confident in yourself and be sure that you have made the best decision and that Allah will reward you greatly for that. Ultimately, just like choosing to wear hijab is deeply personal, so is choosing to remove it. The hijab, or headscarf, is. In Surah At-Tawbah Allah (S) says: So, how can we help our sisters constructively and with, (good manners and kindness)? But they are talking about how they wished they didn't start wearing it. Betting on a tighter oil market has been a bad trade for most of this year. - Quora. I wanted to see who I was apart from the society that nurtured me. What is a kind and good way forward when we face this in our own personal social circles as well as seeing this unfold in the lives of more public-facing Muslim women? You are not like any other girl. On March 25, 2016, NBC news reported that a police officer ordered a Muslim woman to remove her hijab in a Washington, D.C. library. Apparently not. He didnt agree with me, but I got points for speaking up. Instead of feeling sexy, I thought those noticeable parts of my body were making me unattractive. How well you know someone and what your relationship is with a woman who is struggling with her hijab is an extremely important thing you need to consider, she says. The Koran does instruct women to cover our bodies out of modesty, and the sayings of the prophet Muhammad specify that we cover our hair and, some say, our faces, too. The exact same incident happened again with the same guy and even though he meant it as a compliment, I still found it bizarre and unnecessary. If you wear hijab because you are fully aware of all the aspects and you are comfortable with it in every aspect of your life, then do it. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Some people think I took it off because of Swedens influence or Westernization. The first time she watched "The Devil Wears Prada" around the age of 12, Farida felt something that she couldnt quite explain at that time. My name is Grace and I am a gray [Read More]. An increasing number of women have approached me to talk about their hijab-wearing decision. Behind her are plants, wooden plank siding, and a slatted fence. And, making dua is always one of the most sincere ways to support one another, advises Bibi in her HH article. As Melanie wrote a few years ago, there are many reasons women remove their hijab, including political climate, self-esteem issues or societal pressures, wearing it to make someone else happy without ever having the intention themselves, and loss of conviction in hijab, to name a few. Ostracisation can happen with other things as well in life Better-Violinist5877 6 mo. I became the object of some gossip, which was expected. Many women went through the motions in life they got their degrees, found a husband, had kids, etc., and their identity as a Muslim took a backseat. If its someone you know, someone youre close enough to that this is something they would be open to talking with you about, advice will. That isnt to say its been a breeze since then, but to recognize the importance of knowing, themselves. I didnt know why it was commanded by my religion back then. Summary of answer We cannot say for certain whether a woman who does not wear hijab will enter Hell, but she deserves the punishment of Allah because she has disobeyed His command to her.
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